


Different

by GallifreyanFairytale



Series: Aromantic/Asexual fics [5]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Aromantic, Aromantic Percy Jackson, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-24 04:11:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15622248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanFairytale/pseuds/GallifreyanFairytale
Summary: Percy has always been different, but maybe that doesn't have to mean he's broken.





	Different

**Author's Note:**

> will i ever stop writing AUs where characters are aromantic because a random thought of them being aromantic occured to me in the middle of the night? probably not.
> 
> also sorry if this is ooc, i haven't written Percy in quite a long time

Percy always assumed he would have to _choose_.

 

Trouble was, he wasn’t exactly great at making choices, especially choices about feelings he wasn’t entirely sure were really _there_. It wasn’t like he hated any of them, he just didn’t think he was really reciprocating any of their feelings in the correct way. Rachel had pressed her lips against his cheek and invited him to escape with her, but Percy knew he had a more important destiny to fulfill. Calypso had looked at him with something mysterious in her eyes, asking for what she knew was impossible, but Percy couldn't even name what emotion he saw in her expression. He had kissed Annabeth in the lake, and she’d told him how it made her feel, but Percy didn’t understand. Reyna had confessed feelings for him, but Percy had shied away, unsure if Reyna was actually being truthful or not because were those sort of feelings even real? And now Nico was here, confessing a secret he’d been holding for _years_ and Percy still didn’t _get it_.

 

“I…” Percy’s voice had abandoned him at the worst time, as it always did. He wasn’t good at this romance thing. He never had been, and he doubted he ever would be. “Sorry?” his voice curved up into a question, displaying how _unsure_ he was.

 

Nico launched into some explanation about how he knew Percy didn’t think about boys _like that_ and it was fine, he was over it now and he had Will, but he thought he should at least tell Percy so he didn’t feel weird every time he looked at him. Percy nodded - or at least, he was almost certain he nodded - but his mind was far away from Nico’s confession. It didn’t bother him that Nico had a crush on him; at this point he was just another name on what seemed to be an ever growing list. Annabeth, Rachel, Calypso, Reyna, and now Nico. So what? _So what?_ Was there a point to any or all of this?

 

“Are you… feeling okay?”

 

Percy tried to refocus his eyes on Nico. He was feeling fine. He was absolutely, completely, definitely, 100% fine.

 

Except he wasn’t.

 

“I don’t know.” Percy felt his mouth form the words and heard them tumble from his lips, but it didn’t exactly feel like _he_ had said them.

 

“I know that look,” Nico told him. “The zoning out look. You’re thinking about something that makes you feel…” Nico looked like he had a word to fill the blank, but didn’t want to use it. “... _different_ ,” he finally finished.

 

“I’ve always been different,” Percy said, as if it didn’t bother him that he was beginning to feel different yet again after thinking maybe he could finally feel like he _fit in_ at Camp Half-Blood. “Different doesn’t bother me.”

 

“It doesn’t?” Nico raised an eyebrow.

 

“What did it feel like?”

 

Nico blinked, clearly confused. “What?”

 

“When you had a crush on me,” Percy clarified. “What did it feel like?” Maybe Nico could explain what love was supposed to feel like better than Annabeth or Reyna could. Maybe Percy would understand Nico’s explanation. Annabeth’s had had big words that seemed almost poetic (or maybe that was because Percy couldn’t recall the meaning of several of them). Reyna had been professional, giving what sounded like a textbook definition of romance that didn’t help anymore than reading a Wikipedia article would have.

 

Nico frowned. “It was…” he shook his head. Maybe he didn’t want to think about it? That made Percy feel bad for asking. He needed to remember that unrequited crushes weren’t pleasant memories and he shouldn’t bring them up in attempts to understand the big deal. “It was different. I mean, I guess I looked up to you at first, and then… I hated you for a while, but I didn’t really hate you, so I was _confused_. And I was still reminding myself that liking you in _that way_ wasn’t wrong, like I had been raised to believe. ...I’m not sure I’m the best person to ask if you’re trying to figure out if you have a crush on someone or not. Maybe you should talk to Will instead.”

 

“I _don’t_ have a crush on someone,” Percy responded with certainty he didn’t know he had in him. Since when had he been so certain about anything romance-related? “That’s my problem.”

 

It almost sounded like Nico laughed, except Nico didn’t laugh. “That’s a _problem_?”

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a crush before.” Percy wasn’t sure where, exactly, these words were coming from, but he knew they were true as he spoke them. “I… I don’t _get it_. I’ve never understood the hype around romance. It just… doesn’t appeal to me?” Percy shook his head and looked down. “I don’t feel _different_ , Nico; I feel _broken_.”

 

“You’re not broken, Percy.” Percy glanced up when Nico said his name. He almost believed Nico for some reason he couldn’t put his finger on. Almost. “I thought I was broken too, for a while. And then I realized I wasn’t alone. You’re not alone either. I highly doubt you’re the only person on the planet who doesn’t understand romance. There’s probably even a word for it.”

 

“I don’t need a label,” Percy spat. But he wasn’t mad at Nico. He was mad at himself. He was mad at himself for not feeling the same feelings everyone else did, whether for girls or boys or both. He was mad that he didn’t understand and he was mad that he didn’t exactly _want_ to understand. “I need to be fixed.”

 

“You can’t fix something that isn’t broken.” Nico took a deep breath. “If you want proof you’re not alone, my suggestion is the Iris cabin. You don’t need to label yourself, but I think you do need to understand you’re not alone. I know that’s what helped me.” Nico kind of looked like he wanted to say something else, but decided against it, before he turned and walked away.

 

Percy sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He wasn’t alone because he probably just… hadn’t met the right person yet. Yes, that was it. He would eventually meet someone who made him feel all the glittery butterflies that filled everyone else’s stomachs and then he would be as normal as the rest of the demigods in Camp Half-Blood.

 

Except… Percy had always been different.

 

Maybe Nico was right. Maybe he wasn’t broken (and wasn’t missing the right person); maybe he was just _different_. And maybe that was okay.


End file.
